A letter to my daughter

Dear Daughter,

Oh, sweet girl, your birthday is among us. Another year has passed so quickly and I know your teenage years linger just over the horizon. There is so much to learn as a young woman and I don’t think it’s ever too early to start putting a few things in your ear.

Life and love are two complicated things. Happy endings don’t look like they do in the movies or those fairy tales you used to love so much. Life is filled with many beautiful opportunities but there WILL BE plenty of disappointments and hardships along the way too.

There is no white horse or prince charming. No one is coming to save you. Did you hear me? No one person can fix this imperfect life and all the chaos that comes with it. {No human walking this earth that is} When life gets hard don’t wait for someone to swoop in and fix it, roll up your sleeves and take charge. Take control of your life and don’t allow life’s circumstances to pull you down. Understand there will be hard moments but those moments are just that…temporary. Do your best to see the trials as opportunities to learn and grow. This will be easier said than done, I assure you, but know these hardtimes will mold you into the person you will be one day. Don’t fold baby girl, give em hell!

Understand this now my love, real love isn’t easy, sometimes its really really ugly. I don’t believe it has to be hard, but for some reason, a few of us make it harder than it has to be. Don’t be one of us… take your time when it comes to love. Don’t be in a hurry to find it. When you convince yourself you need something you’re willing to settle for anything. Don’t settle baby girl.

Daddy always told me not to settle, although I heard him, I didn’t really hear him. I was too anxious to get out in this world and live my life with no one telling me what I could and couldn’t do. I was in too much of a hurry to make my own mistakes and not be a product of someone else’s. When really I could have learned so much from the mistakes before me without living through the same ones over and over again. Sweet girl you don’t have to make those same mistakes, slow down.

We are imperfect people and why we have portrayed love to come across like it’s perfect or will be with the “perfect” person, I still don’t understand. Two imperfect things will never equal anything perfect or anything close to perfect. Baby girl this life is pointless without love,its true, but it can be one of the hardest things you experience in your life . Take the next few things I’m about to say to heart and hear me clear.

You my daughter were not made to make a man happy. I’m going to say it again… GOD DID NOT PUT YOU ON THIS EARTH SO THAT YOU COULD MAKE A MAN HAPPY!

Once you start living to make another person happy you will lose it all. You lose your identity to the point you don’t know who you are without that person. Happiness does not come in the form of a single person…. don’t give anyone that power over you.

With that being said… no man was made to make you happy darling. If you aren’t happy with yourself no man, no matter how amazing, will ever fill that void. It’s not fair to put all of that on one person. Give yourself time to get to know yourself and LOVE yourself for all you are and aren’t. Travel the world experience life and the opportunities that await you before you go looking for love. Hold tight to your values never swaying for anyone!! If your values don’t align from the start they probably never ever will.

The world needs more strong women. Women who know who they are and are unapologetic for it. Women who aren’t afraid to take risks inorder to follow their dreams or stand up for what is right. Think for yourself don’t accept what others tell you. Mistakes will be made, don’t beat yourself up over them. Take those failures and look at them as stepping stones to becoming the person you want to be. They don’t call them life lessons for anything.

Wait for a strong man. A man that’s willing to put the work in before reaping the reward. I told you earlier love can be hard, so find someone willing to fight for you when the enemy attacks. One that shares your values and will remind you of them when you’ve lost your way. One that will encourage you to pursue your passions and help you reach your goals. A man that will carry you when life beats you down leaving you too tired to carry on. A man that stands beside you and not in front of you. A man that sees your worth from the very begining!

There are plenty more fish in the sea, as the saying goes. Baby girl, there are tons of fish in the sea so guard your heart. Don’t let the sharks fool you baby because they will try.

Sweet girl, I wish I could guard your child like innocents forever. I wish I could protect your heart from all the heartbreaks you will experience in your life, that’s just not the reality of it all. You, my dear, were made to do great things never forget that. There is a reason for every stumble in your path use them as fuel to ignite you! Never Quit! Never settle for anything or anyone. You can do anything you set your mind to and never let someone tell you otherwise.

I love you my sweet girl!

-Mom